Too Much Weird Shit

Been reading more of the Sarcastic Observer’s blog. I wasn’t going to, at first, because his interest in me is kinda creepy, but he’s the only guy I know of who’s at my college and seeing this shit. A lot of it, apparently. He got hit by a fucking car, even! Not sure if I want in on this or what. But he DID say, in his recent post, that he wants to help. So maybe he’s not just watching anymore? I guess getting damn near arrested and hit by a car and shit like that will kind of make that decision for you. Like me, I guess. If the Weird Shit’s not going to leave me alone, I may as well fuck it up a bit. If he calls my cell again, I may just answer. I don’t want to email him through his blog, yet. That’d be a bit too reverse-stalky.

I’m thinking that there’s more than one piece of Weird Shit going on here, though, if you look at both of our blogs. That creepy professor I saw walking outside of the classroom was probably that slender guy. But the moving shadows I keep seeing aren’t? And then there’s that city that the Observer got stuck in. What the hell is THAT all about? And that Panopticon thing. I’ve started noticing those posters up too. So much Weird Shit. But there’s one thing that I’m still not sure of.

Which one of these killed my roommate? 

Finals Done, Class Begun

Fuck, finals week sucks during the summer! Took me all weekend just to recover, and now I’m starting class again. At least I’m in a different building this time. This one is MUCH less creepy.

I’ve been thinking about that (x) symbol I keep seeing around campus.  I saw it on Sarcastic Observer’s blog, so I guess he’s been noticing them, too. Thing is, this Operator Symbol isn’t definitely one thing or another. It’s supposed to have to do with some sort of boogey man. I keep trying to type the real name, but I just can’t bring myself to. How fucking weird is that? But people can’t seem to agree on whether the symbol repels him, or summons him.

Who the fuck would SUMMON him? I mean, that’s what Proxies are for, right? Who is fucked up enough to want to even BE one?

Anyway, I’ve been noticing them more often lately, around the dorm and my the building my last class was in, and I haven’t seen the creepy professor (shit, was that him?) or the shadowy man I saw outside my dorm. So maybe they drive the bad things away? I dunno, but I do feel better each time I see one, even though it reminds me of the creepy shit that’s been happening.

About That Guy

I was reading that blog that I got linked to, and I just don’t know about this Sarcastic Observer guy. I mean, he seems to know stuff, but he seems to WANT to know stuff more than he cares about DOING something about it. I don’t know if I should trust him. He’s a little too interested in my roommate’s death. And me. He's even been calling me! Again, fucking creepy! And he was wandering around the dorms the night I saw that shadow guy. What is WRONG with him? If he really knows that people are getting ripped to pieces, then why the fuck is he going out LOOKING for stuff?

I really don’t want to wake up one morning to find bits of him scattered around the dorm.

Better Said In Daylight

Didn’t want to write about this last night. Daylight seems safer. Or is it? Half the scary shit I see happens in the daytime. But she died at night, so I guess night’s still worse?

Anyway, last night I saw something wandering around outside the dorms. He looked… off. Not like the creepy professor. This one wasn’t wearing a suit, for one, just dark pants and a shirt. But the shadows around him were darker than they should be, even when he wandered into the light. I think I even saw one move when he was standing still. Reminds me of the shit I keep seeing in the engineering building. Can shadows be alive? Shit, I hope not. I’ve been doing some reading over the past few days, and I think I may have a name for the creepy guy outside my dorm. Proxy. And if he is, I’m fucked.

Need to step up my research, before that guy decides to come inside. And maybe arm myself. What the fuck do I arm myself with? Shit.

If That’s the Way It Is

 It’s not going to go away, is it? No matter how many semesters I take off of school, no matter how much I try to just ignore it. And I was so paranoid at home, kept thinking I was seeing things… what if it followed me? That would mean I can’t go ANYWHERE to get away from it. First my roommate, then that professor, shadows moving in the hallway, creepy professors (was it even a professor?) always there, just out of sight. There’s something going the fuck on, and it’s decided to drag me into it. Maybe it’s playing with me. Well, fuck that shit. I’ll play along. I’ll go looking, I’ll do some research, I’ll find out what it is and then I’ll fucking find a way to get rid of it. 

oh shit oh shit

Shit shit shit a professor is dead, they found his head in the woods and the rest of him somewhere else. I was just going to a party, just hanging out with my friends, why did they have to talk about it there? No one else is talking about it, I didn’t hear about it in class. My TA’s been out of class for awhile, what if it got him too? Fuck, it’s happening again, is that how my roommate died, is that why there was blood seeping out from under the door?

Why won’t it go away? Why did I come back? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Gotta Be the Wiring

Fucking shit ton of people on campus today for high school graduation. Detours and crowds everywhere. Glad I live on campus, can’t imagine trying to park today. Why can’t they have the damn graduations on weekends?

Got to class a few minutes late, so I missed the morning rumor mill, but after class I heard that there was a fire in the building last week. A fucking fire! Why didn’t they tell us? Too many different rumors to be sure what started it, but I’m betting on the wiring. Old building, faulty wiring, it would explain the creepy shadows and flickering lights too. They really need to get on that.

Is THAT Where It’s Coming From?

I think I found where the chalk’s coming from. Today, at least. I noticed some chalk on my arm again (not my clothes this time, at least) right after I left the engineering building. I looked around and there it was, right there on the fucking doorway. An X and a circle, drawn in yellow chalk. It seems kind of stupid to think that someone is drawing these fucking things all over campus, but maybe that’s it. I’ll have to keep an eye out around doorways, see if I can find more. It would be nice to have that mystery solved. 

Can’t It Just Go Away?

Why am I so fucking paranoid? Creepy-ass professors walking the halls, shows moving out of the corner of my eye, dreams about closed doors leading to scary places… it’s like the world is out to drive me crazy! I want to catch up on the school I missed after my roommate died. I want to get my degree. I don’t want to worry about stalkers, or shadows, or dreams. I don’t want to know about any of that, I want it to just leave me the fuck alone, go bother someone else, someone who likes the scary shit, or deserves it, or whatever.

And I really, really don’t want to die like her.

Why Would They Hire That Guy?

So I was falling asleep in class (it IS math for dummies, and it’s two hours long, fucking boring!) when I saw this creepy guy through the little window in the middle of the door. He just walked by the classroom, all smooth, and he didn’t look like a student. Maybe he was a professor. I hope he was a professor, even if that means that there are fucking creepy-ass professors wandering campus. Cause if it’s not a professor… well, my old roommate thought some professor-type was following her, just before she died. And that would mean that the guy who killed her is still here. And he’s looking for a new victim. Shit, what if it’s me?

It’s gotta be a professor.

Shadows in the Hallway

I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eye. And it’s not just when I’m alone, either. Today I thought I saw a shadow move when I was hanging out with some friends after class. A fucking shadow! Maybe I’m too jumpy. But the building doesn’t help. Never had a class in the engineering building before. Apparently the math department gets a tiny little corner of this big-ass brick monstrosity. Let me tell you, that place is fucking spooky. Bad enough it feels emptier than the rest of campus, but how many damn classrooms does a math department need anyway? How many different kinds of math can there possibly be?

On a side note, I got chalk on my clothes. Again. Where does this shit COME from? It happened last semester too. Luckily it seems to wash out pretty easy. I need to keep an eye out, figure out what I’m leaning on and stop doing it.

Back for Summer

So, I’m back in the dorm for the summer. I really wish I didn’t have to take classes over break, but between the incompletes and the semester off after what happened to my roommate, I just can’t afford not to. I don’t have a roommate this semester, though. I thought I would, but no one’s moved in yet. Maybe she withdrew? I’m not sure if I like living alone or not. Feels more empty than it did during the spring, but I guess that makes sense. Only about half of the dorms are open for the summer anyway.

Alright, enough whining. I’ve got books to buy.

Dream Door

I had a dream last night. This one wasn’t about a tall man who I can only see out of the corner of my eye. This one was about a door. I think it was her door, but now I remember that her door didn’t look like that. And it wasn’t where it was supposed to be, anyway.  Maybe it wasn’t, then.  I don’t remember what was on the other side of it, only that it was fucking scary. I remember thinking that if I went through that door, I’d get lost, and never find my way back. I’m pretty sure I didn’t go through, cause I woke up, and I don’t think I would have woken up if I went through.

But you know what? That shit was scary, but I’d rather dream about doors leading to nowhere than that man following me.

May As Well Keep Going, Right?

I guess I’ll keep up with this thing. I mean, I already started, right? And it’d be kind of embarrassing to just leave it hanging with just one post. Maybe I can keep from cursing quite so much this time. So fucking embarrassing.

Been home for a couple of days, going back to the dorms for summer classes in a few more. I’ve almost stopped looking over my shoulder every time I go outside. Not that there’s ever anyone there when I DO look. But she thought she was being stalked before she died. And I guess that got to me. I keep thinking I’m being followed, but I’m not. It’s always just a squirrel making noise, or a trick of the light. I guess I should be glad, right? If I keep being wrong, then it means I’m not being stalked by some crazy killer.

I really don’t want to go back to school next week.

...

Once you put something on the internet it’s there for good, right? It can’t be erased, or forgotten, or covered up. Maybe if I put it here, then I won’t forget either. Everyone else has. I mean, they wouldn’t even let me see in her room the night she died. They just rushed me past the closed door so I could get a few of my things. I thought I saw a stain coming from under the door, but next time I was allowed in, her room was bare, the carpet torn up. What the fuck happened to her that made them get rid of the carpet? I smelled fresh paint, too, and some kind of disinfectant.

But no one else seems to remember what happened. Or they say it was just something normal, like a burglar with a knife or some shit. Maybe I should just let myself forget. It would be nice to not have to worry about stalkers or burglars with knives and this is just so fucked up! Why the hell did I even come back? I should have just transferred to another college, like mom wanted. Fuck dad’s “it’ll be good for you” crap. What if it happens to me too? Damn it, I don’t even know. Just need to keep an eye out, report anything suspicious, like I’m supposed to. Don’t go out alone at night, get the campus security to escort me to my car if I don’t feel safe. That’s what they’re for, right? To make us safe?

Shit, I don’t even know why I’m writing this.