Gotta Be the Wiring

Fucking shit ton of people on campus today for high school graduation. Detours and crowds everywhere. Glad I live on campus, can’t imagine trying to park today. Why can’t they have the damn graduations on weekends?

Got to class a few minutes late, so I missed the morning rumor mill, but after class I heard that there was a fire in the building last week. A fucking fire! Why didn’t they tell us? Too many different rumors to be sure what started it, but I’m betting on the wiring. Old building, faulty wiring, it would explain the creepy shadows and flickering lights too. They really need to get on that.

Is THAT Where It’s Coming From?

I think I found where the chalk’s coming from. Today, at least. I noticed some chalk on my arm again (not my clothes this time, at least) right after I left the engineering building. I looked around and there it was, right there on the fucking doorway. An X and a circle, drawn in yellow chalk. It seems kind of stupid to think that someone is drawing these fucking things all over campus, but maybe that’s it. I’ll have to keep an eye out around doorways, see if I can find more. It would be nice to have that mystery solved. 

Can’t It Just Go Away?

Why am I so fucking paranoid? Creepy-ass professors walking the halls, shows moving out of the corner of my eye, dreams about closed doors leading to scary places… it’s like the world is out to drive me crazy! I want to catch up on the school I missed after my roommate died. I want to get my degree. I don’t want to worry about stalkers, or shadows, or dreams. I don’t want to know about any of that, I want it to just leave me the fuck alone, go bother someone else, someone who likes the scary shit, or deserves it, or whatever.

And I really, really don’t want to die like her.

Why Would They Hire That Guy?

So I was falling asleep in class (it IS math for dummies, and it’s two hours long, fucking boring!) when I saw this creepy guy through the little window in the middle of the door. He just walked by the classroom, all smooth, and he didn’t look like a student. Maybe he was a professor. I hope he was a professor, even if that means that there are fucking creepy-ass professors wandering campus. Cause if it’s not a professor… well, my old roommate thought some professor-type was following her, just before she died. And that would mean that the guy who killed her is still here. And he’s looking for a new victim. Shit, what if it’s me?

It’s gotta be a professor.

Shadows in the Hallway

I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eye. And it’s not just when I’m alone, either. Today I thought I saw a shadow move when I was hanging out with some friends after class. A fucking shadow! Maybe I’m too jumpy. But the building doesn’t help. Never had a class in the engineering building before. Apparently the math department gets a tiny little corner of this big-ass brick monstrosity. Let me tell you, that place is fucking spooky. Bad enough it feels emptier than the rest of campus, but how many damn classrooms does a math department need anyway? How many different kinds of math can there possibly be?

On a side note, I got chalk on my clothes. Again. Where does this shit COME from? It happened last semester too. Luckily it seems to wash out pretty easy. I need to keep an eye out, figure out what I’m leaning on and stop doing it.

Back for Summer

So, I’m back in the dorm for the summer. I really wish I didn’t have to take classes over break, but between the incompletes and the semester off after what happened to my roommate, I just can’t afford not to. I don’t have a roommate this semester, though. I thought I would, but no one’s moved in yet. Maybe she withdrew? I’m not sure if I like living alone or not. Feels more empty than it did during the spring, but I guess that makes sense. Only about half of the dorms are open for the summer anyway.

Alright, enough whining. I’ve got books to buy.

Dream Door

I had a dream last night. This one wasn’t about a tall man who I can only see out of the corner of my eye. This one was about a door. I think it was her door, but now I remember that her door didn’t look like that. And it wasn’t where it was supposed to be, anyway.  Maybe it wasn’t, then.  I don’t remember what was on the other side of it, only that it was fucking scary. I remember thinking that if I went through that door, I’d get lost, and never find my way back. I’m pretty sure I didn’t go through, cause I woke up, and I don’t think I would have woken up if I went through.

But you know what? That shit was scary, but I’d rather dream about doors leading to nowhere than that man following me.

May As Well Keep Going, Right?

I guess I’ll keep up with this thing. I mean, I already started, right? And it’d be kind of embarrassing to just leave it hanging with just one post. Maybe I can keep from cursing quite so much this time. So fucking embarrassing.

Been home for a couple of days, going back to the dorms for summer classes in a few more. I’ve almost stopped looking over my shoulder every time I go outside. Not that there’s ever anyone there when I DO look. But she thought she was being stalked before she died. And I guess that got to me. I keep thinking I’m being followed, but I’m not. It’s always just a squirrel making noise, or a trick of the light. I guess I should be glad, right? If I keep being wrong, then it means I’m not being stalked by some crazy killer.

I really don’t want to go back to school next week.

...

Once you put something on the internet it’s there for good, right? It can’t be erased, or forgotten, or covered up. Maybe if I put it here, then I won’t forget either. Everyone else has. I mean, they wouldn’t even let me see in her room the night she died. They just rushed me past the closed door so I could get a few of my things. I thought I saw a stain coming from under the door, but next time I was allowed in, her room was bare, the carpet torn up. What the fuck happened to her that made them get rid of the carpet? I smelled fresh paint, too, and some kind of disinfectant.

But no one else seems to remember what happened. Or they say it was just something normal, like a burglar with a knife or some shit. Maybe I should just let myself forget. It would be nice to not have to worry about stalkers or burglars with knives and this is just so fucked up! Why the hell did I even come back? I should have just transferred to another college, like mom wanted. Fuck dad’s “it’ll be good for you” crap. What if it happens to me too? Damn it, I don’t even know. Just need to keep an eye out, report anything suspicious, like I’m supposed to. Don’t go out alone at night, get the campus security to escort me to my car if I don’t feel safe. That’s what they’re for, right? To make us safe?

Shit, I don’t even know why I’m writing this.